Before, I knew a person who was the director of a large corporation in Korea. He had great faith in the CEO of the group and thus took charge of the accounting, but he didn’t get along with the new president of the company, and always got into stressful arguments. The president used to give bribes to politicians and do something to harm the company. My friend bared his arms and decided to fight against the president. He is in the spirit of heroism, so he got enraged and stayed in confusion everyday. In the end, he got a sickness in his liver. Looking at the situation, I asked him: “Is the company more important? Are you more important?” He said the company was more important, and he had to do it, even if it meant pushing himself to death. I lost my words. “Well, then, fight, fight and win” I said. Misfortune on top of misfortune, one day he found out his son has got a tumor in his brain. They said he wouldn’t live more than three months, even with an operation. He began to look for hospitals throughout the country that could treat him, because the son is really precious for him. As he was working for the company, it was so demanding to look for hospitals. I asked him again, “Is your child more important? Are you more important?” He replied “My son is more important.” Again, I had no reply. In the end, he caught liver cancer and passed away. No matter what it is, it should never dominate you. As the company and his son had sucked away more than 80-90% of his energy, he was deprived of himself. If we are taken by something, it’s difficult to make a normal judgment. It’s not just one major matter, but two, right? As he was but a shell of himself, the prick of a sickness was all that was needed, and that’s what happened. Nothing is more important than you. First of all, you must exist then your company and child can exist too. What’s their importance if you can’t manage yourself? There’s no value at all in company life or children if you reach the point of ending your life. He caught an illness and lost his life while worrying about his son and it’s not that he devoted himself to his son. Rather, his son is still living. He was not devoting his life to the company, either. Did the company go into pieces because of the matter? No. Nevertheless, he’s gone. In life, don’t let anything govern you more than 50% – no matter what it is. To what are you devoting yourself? Find the job, your job that you really want to do. Everything else is second. Place everything else in second from the most important thing.
When a situation comes your way, you can do three things. One, fight it out and solve it. Two, put it to the side. Three, just let it go and forget about it. If by chance there’s something more important to you right now, during this time just put all other matters to the side. Don’t confront all the conflicts coming to you and have the wisdom to put other matters to the side for the moment for much more important things. After the moment, you’ll find a solution for the problem as you grow much more. Don’t make it remain in your mind; just put it to the side. But even though there are much more important matters, you are unable to manage this and that problem at once, so you get yourself into mental conflicts, and sometimes even push others into conflicts. This is not the right conduct.
The primary factor of conflicts lies in the fact all of the problems come from you. If I stand firmly on my two feet, I won’t be affected by the wind around me. If not, even the slightest breeze can knock me down. If you’re disturbed to your roots by the wind think, “My foundation is delicate and not so solid.” You often say “I’m OK and have no problem, but others around me try to make my life difficult. I can’t approve of others,” just bear in mind that the source of the problem lies with you. When you feel dissatisfied with others, it’s because you are dissatisfied with yourself. Think that way. When I look at myself, I’m not satisfied, so I constantly turn my eyes outside and don’t get content with them. Fundamentally, findings things distasteful or to your dislike means you’re not content with yourself. Those content with themselves expect nothing from others. Without expectation, there’s no discontent. Because you can’t fill your needs, you expect others to fill them. However, the greater the expectation is, the greater the disappointment. Just satisfy yourself on your own. Don’t expect others to do it for you. Human’s basic truth is self-sufficiency. Desire nothing from society, desire nothing from anyone. That’s the way we need to direct ourselves. If you find you still seek from others, just realize you’re not yet standing firmly on your own.